Feed My Starving Children

It has been a week since our ordeal at the breakfast table. I have to say, this project has helped eliminate pickiness from the table. Yay!

Last week we gathered $.26 to start our goal of raising 18,000 pennies. We put them in a ziplock bag and started discussing how big of a container we would need to be able to fit so many pennies into. Here's what we came up with:

It's a clear bucket from Amazon! 

It is on it's way now, so we'll have to post about it when it shows up.

This week we saved our pennies from grocery shopping. Here's a video of the kids counting the pennies to find out how much they have:

If you would like to help us on our journey to not only reaching our goal but also helping fund a MobilePack in Houston where we will be helping to bag and box food for hungry children, click on the link here. 

18,000 Pennies

We had a real picky issue at the breakfast table that has now become a family inspiration.

One of the children was complaining about the breakfast food which got Mama talking about starving children.

A little frustrated at the insensitive reaction I received, I walked into my bedroom, looked up and said, "God, give me wisdom here. I need lots of wisdom."

I grabbed my ipad, clicked on YouTube to search for an appropriate video that might reach deeper than my words had.
I clicked on the Feed My Starving Children video and sat there with tears in my eyes as my children voluntarily gathered around me. After the video we talked.

Really talked.

They don't know how much is 18,000. To them 1 picture of a dying child is too many. 

And we talked some more, about the why questions mainly. One question seemed to hang between us unspoken but deeply impressed: 

"Why is it him and not me?"

The point was made and it was time for Mama to offer a solution to the problem, something that would make us feel heroic. 

Think Mama, think...

18,0000 children...
Pennies? Pennies!!!!!

My children ran to collect pennies from their savings as they called out, "Let's start today, Mama!"

And so we have started our project of saving 18,000 pennies in hopes that we can help save the lives of 5 children.

We will look at our food differently, I'm sure. It probably might even taste different as we watch our growing pile of pennies.

Thank the Lord for answering my prayer for wisdom. My answered prayer just might be the answer to someone else's prayers.

THE MAN IN HIM

I look into the eyes of my three old son, watch him ponder the childish wonders, catch glimpses of his dreams through his eyes, listen to all he wants to be when he grows up. 

                             I SEE A MAN IN HIM:

It might sound crazy to some for me to look into my three year old son’s eyes and see a man in there, but it’s true. There are moments when the man is more apparent than others, like in the moment of decision on whether to obey or not. I see those little shoulders square, the chin set and a look of conviction in his eyes when he’s decided he wants to be good. 

I see the man in him when he wants to prove his strength and his intelligence by trying to pick up the heaviest object he can find, or write his numbers or letters to perfection.

I hear the boyish dreams of “being just like Daddy when I get bigger,” “get married and have children, Mama,” and “I’m gonna have a job and make lots of money,” and I see the man in him. 

I kneel beside his bed and watch his even breathing. I close my eyes tight to hold back the tears. My little boy is growing up. I know it’s a good thing, but oh, how I fear for him, for the man in him.

The man that will have bigger fish to fry one day, greater temptations, important, life-changing decisions, and my Mama’s heart fears…

As I kneel, I pray, “God, put Jesus in his heart. Please help him to love You with ALL his heart.” The tears fall softly, he stirs and in the shadows I see his baby face and I realize for the hundredth time how great of a responsibility I have. I feel overwhelmed with this knowledge; how do I get my little boy from here to there safely?

In my rush to get housecleaning done my minds goes to more important things and I feel God’s presence in my thoughts.

God created man in His image. My son is already like God. He not only has the seed of Adam, but first he has God’s image.

God promised to never leave us. God will always be there, no matter the circumstances my son will have to face. 

God is not willing for anyone to perish. It’s not just me that wants him to make it to Heaven; God wants it so much more than I.

I can try to coerce my son into what I think He should be even down to allowing Jesus to be his savior. I can push, prod, and manipulate. And it might work…

Or I can listen to the winds of the Holy Spirit that says to pray, to believe that God is able to reach him. As I teach, discipline, play and love my dear boy, I can give him to the Lord, commit his way to God.

                             

                                                  AND FOR NOW…

I think I’ll try God’s way. I’ve heard it works. And someday I hope to look up into my son’s face and see a man…a man of God.

A DRAGONFLY LESSON

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.”

I’ve hit quite a few bumps in the road this week that has brought up past hurts and failures. My emotions have been out of control to the point of checking out and distancing myself.  

I have been putting exercise in my daily routine to try to help with depression. I’ve done a lot of thinking even through the children jumping around and talking to me. This morning I felt it is time to let some things go because I’m not just grieving about them, I’m allowing myself to harbor bitterness and it’s causing me to comfort myself in inappropriate ways.

The walk was over and I went to get the clothes off the line and came so close to touching a dragonfly sitting on one of the clothespins. It didn’t flinch. I got up close and peered at its eyes and the intricacy of its wings, it didn’t move. It was as if it was communicating with me: it would nod a little and wave a leg. I kept looking, and all of a sudden I realized that its top wings had been torn. It nodded as if to acknowledge the fact. I spoke, “And you can still fly, even though your wings are torn. You still fly.” As if in answer it picked up and flew in a circle and landed again. I cried.

I know my wings are torn. There’s no denying that, it’s a fact. I can keep complaining about the tears and how I’m stuck without hope of being perfectly whole because no one can change the past. Or I can acknowledge the fact and pick up and fly.

Fly knowing I have torn wings.

Fly with a greater sense of needing balance.

Fly determined that the tears won’t keep me down.

FLY and keep flying knowing my Heavenly Father cares for me.

The verse I quoted came immediately to me as I was studying this beautiful dragonfly. We can’t go through life pushing out negatives and only embracing positives. That’s my nature, I’ve tried doing this as far back as I can remember. I hate hurt, I’m passionate about never putting myself in toxicity. I’m coming to realize that by living like this, I’m unable to show God’s power because I’ve not learned to embrace the struggle. 

Paul acknowledged he was troubled,  perplexed, persecuted and cast down. He could have said, “I’m not distressed, in despair, forsaken or destroyed,” and avoided acknowledging the issues. But he chose to embrace both the negative and the positive. He chose to see the issue and the power that can come out of negative situations. The big message is that we have to go through in order to experience. There’s no way for us to experience the excellency of God’s power until we have gone through the trial, the issue, the negative. Then and only then are we not only embracing the circumstance, but we are living with God’s power and experiencing something so much greater than ourselves. 

The treasure is not in us. The treasure is the excellent power of God that we allow in that creates peace, joy, fulfillment, etc. We can mimic peace, joy, fulfillment, etc. or we can have the real deal. 

God didn’t promise that we wouldn’t be wounded or hurt, but He did promise that He would be with us through it, that He would cause us to soar like eagles. 

It’s not the wounds that keeping me from flying. It’s me that keeping me from flying. I can choose to stay on the ground and never try to fly, or I can be like the dragonfly with the torn wings and pick up and see what happens. God’s promises have never failed anyone, so, if He’s promised that I’ll soar like an eagle, then I need to give it a try.

A GOD MOMENT

I love it when each day of studying God and His word is actually a stepping stone into more light and understanding. 

I love the feeling of each time there is a revelation of truth I know it's just a piece to the puzzle and I place it in anticipation of what the whole picture will look like.

I love it when at times it all comes together and we see clearly as though face to face with Jesus Himself.

... A GOD MOMENT...

Anyway, that's how I define the above description. We had one of these this evening that I would like to somehow relate it to you. 

Slowly, God has been taking me down a path of learning more about what kind of woman He wants me to be. It's really heart talks with God and very little of it has to do with what I look like, where I live, or what I do from day to day. However, it all weaves in together and God uses everything that is a part of my life to mold me into His spiritual image. A couple of days ago I was studying the scripture in Hebrews 12:15. " Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled." And of course, my first question was, how does the root get there to begin with? A root can't be there without a seed, right? Something has to give the root life. 

Have you ever heard of seed thoughts?

That is what came to my mind in trying to answer myself. Bitterness starts with a negative thought. It is at this time that I have a choice what I do with the thought (seed). If I choose to accept it and agree with it, I have PLANTED it inside my heart. If I choose to dwell on it, reason with it, nurture it, I then have just successfully rooted my bitter plant. 

I was so impressed with this thought because a couple of days prior to that I felt God nudging me to pray the scripture in Romans 12:2, "Lord, transform me by renewing my mind." 

Can you see how the puzzle was starting to make itself into a picture of revelation?

I usually read a story to my children before bed each night, however, we were late and I didn't think we had time for a story. So...I decided to tell one myself; a very short one, so I thought. 

WE NEVER KNOW WHEN A GOD MOMENT WILL COME. IF OUR HEARTS ARE OPEN, WE WILL RECOGNIZE IT.

I expounded on one of our well known Bible verses, Psalm 19:14. Here is how my storytelling kind of went:

Do you remember David the little boy who killed lions and bears and Goliath too? (Yes) Well, he grew up and became a king. Kind David. (Really?) Yes, and he loved Jesus with all his heart. But he had some problems. He had problems with his tongue (laugh) and his heart (Laugh). He asked God why his tongue kept saying mean and ugly things. Why couldn't he stop it from saying awful things. And do you know that God answered him? He said, "King David, it's not your tongue that has a problem, it's your head." ( A lot of laughing) When your head tells your tongue to say, "You rotten egg," your tongue says it. Your eyes look mean because your brain tells your eyes how to look. 

David said, "Wow, God, I didn't know that, but I get it now." Since King David knew why his tongue was saying awful things, he knew how to pray and he prayed this prayer to God, " Oh, God, let every word that comes out of my mouth, every feeling that stays in my heart, make You happy. I don't want to make You sad because You are the one who makes me strong and You are the one that can save me."

So...we knelt down and pretended to be King David and we started to pray this prayer...

AND THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED...

The Lord's presence was strong. Tears flowed down my face as I put the last piece of the puzzle in it's place. I gazed at the mental picture. "Oh, God, make me this way! Let everything I say, feel and do make You happy. Before I move, help me to remember to ask myself, 'Will this make God happy?' 

THE MOMENT LASTED A FEW MINUTES, THEN AS THOUGH IT WAS ONLY A BREEZE, EVERYTHING WENT BACK TO NORMAL.

No, not everything. 

My heart feels different. No, not that either. 

My heart IS different and the change is permanent. It doesn't mean that my brain won't ever tell my tongue to say something that would displease God. It means I now have a redeeming strength that was planted and has now taken root inside my heart that will offer the power needed to choose to get rid of any seed thoughts that will give life to a root of bitterness. 

IT SOUNDS SO SIMPLE...

until we try it.

The devil knows the power bitterness can have over us and the people our lives touch. He has tested me at every turn of this study. Do I expect him to have something for me to deal with when I wake up in the morning? Absolutely!!! He is walking around seeking what Godly thing he can devour in my life and he will start where it gives him the most powerful weapon. 

So, God, keep renewing my mind. Lead me not into temptation, but DELIVER me!!!

EARLY MORNING THOUGHTS...

I woke up early this morning seeking for something...so, I opened my Bible and prayed for direction. Here's what I received and I thought I'd share it:

"Pray ye,

                "Our Father which art in Heaven,
                "Hallowed be Thy name.
                "Thy kingdom come, 
                "Thy will be done in earth
                "As it is in Heaven.
                "Give us this day our daily bread.
                "And forgive us our debts,
                "As we forgive our debtors.
                "And lead us not into temptation,
                "But deliver us from evil:
                "for Thine is the Kingdom
                                          "And the Power,
                                                         "And the Glory,

                                                                        "FOREVER, Amen."

And here go my thoughts:

Thy Kingdom come: come to me, come in me, come around me. I am in a state of willingness to lay aside my laws: opinions, perspectives, outlooks, etc. to allow Your kingdom to come and create new laws: convictions, realities, facts, etc. 

Thy will be done in earth: in ME, my earth. Every piece that's created me: the good, the bad, ugly and pretty. I am willing You to do whatever You deem best for me. Take my areas of weakness and make them glorify You. Take my areas of strength and make them glorify You. Let everything about me move according to Your will, as everything does so in Heaven. 

Give me this day my daily bread: physically, yes, emotionally, definitely, spiritually, absolutely. I need manna that will spread to all areas that feed inside me. Make the bread specifically for my day: what I'll be facing, who I will be encountering. And as You give me my daily bread, I ask for the blessing to multiply it to feed others around me. 

Forgive me my debts: the things I have left off saying, the debts I know not of. Forgive me of my mistakes as well as my sins. 

As I forgive my debtors: As I let go of the debts and give up resentment against my debtors. As I release them from ever owing me anything.

Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from the evil one: When You see the enemy come to deceive, deliver me from him, raise up a standard against him.

For You are the kingdom and the Power: The Supreme, the only One who reigns over all.

And the glory: I acknowledge I was made to glorify You.

FOREVER: I can rest assured that none of this will change. You will always be God.

Amen: I say, "Let it be so." I am in agreement with what is already set in place and ask that I may be a part of it.

This Life We liv3

Life! We all have one and we all touch other lives. It is beautiful and I want to share mine with you!

Ever since I was a little girl I have loved life, well, anyway, my meaning of what life is suppose to look like. It's breathing fresh air and feeling it go all the way to your tummy, running barefoot in the soft grass, holding newborn kittens, etc. Life is suppose to be about peace, joy and happiness. 

I was fairly young when I discovered that life has another side to it that is ugly and mean and dark. As much as I embraced the joy of life, I despised just as much the darkness and hurtful part of it. I remember telling my Mama it wasn't suppose to be this way; there just couldn't be this side to life... 

As I grew, I learned more about the darker side of life and at one point that side almost suffocated me. I was angry that God would allow all of this hurt, pain and evilness in the world. I didn't see a loving God, but rather one who enjoyed watching people struggle. 

As time passes, as it does for all of us, I started realizing that we all have choices in this life. We can't always control what is happening around us, but we can choose how we will respond and think about it. And that is where God comes in with His love and peace. We can choose to trust Him; believe He has our good in mind. 

God did not create evil; it is of the devil and humans a long time ago made a choice to allow him access to this world. Now we have a choice to allow him access in our lives or not. 

Life is not perfect. It isn't meant to be perfect. But it is beautiful. 
Life is not always happy and peaceful. It isn't meant to be that way. But we can choose to be happy and allow God's peace to surpass whatever is going on. 
Life does have many moments that are so perfectly happy. I love these moments and I have found since choosing to seek peace and happiness, that there are a LOT of beautiful, wonderful moments in my life. 

We really can't have one part without the other and expect to see strength and wisdom and maturity in our lives.

This blog is about my life, all the wonderful parts and not so wonderful parts will all be here. I am looking forward to sharing it with you, so make you some tea and enjoy a moment into my life.